Flight Announcements

“Good evening passengers, this is your captain speaking. We want to take the time to sincerely apologize for the delay but we have been busy stowing your many bags for this direct flight to Kathmandu. Since each of you has brought 5 giant bags each, we have been arranging them into the cargo hold for the past 2 hours. Unfortunately, we could not make every bag fit.

Do not worry, dear customers, your precious remote control helicopters, packaged candies and  copious amounts of make up will make it to their destination. We have safely strapped the additional luggage to the bottom of the plane. You might notice a bumpier ride than usual as the landing gear is unable to be adjusted, thanks to your unnecessary luggage. We do hope that you enjoy your flight. Our flight attendants will be circulating shortly with water bottles, have your cups ready to be filled. Please excuse the lip stick marks around the edges of the bottles, our wonderful flight attendants were quite thirsty after helping you stow your large carry-on luggage. They understand how important it is for you to bring a buffet dinner in your hand bag and they hope you will understand that they were too tired to find a cup to pour water into for themselves. Instead they have been sipping directly out of the water that they are currently serving you. We hope that you have a pleasant journey with us here at Nepal Airlines. If we require any assistance throughout the flight please try not to disturb our flight attendants as they will be resting behind the curtain.”

*An imagined announcement on my flight to Nepal*

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